How did you narrow down/figure out your wedding theme?

by DIY wedding planner on August 25, 2012

Did you have a cohesive theme at all? Or was it very simple?

We are in the very early stages of planning and trying to figure out what sort of “theme” we want to stick with. My fiance hasn’t been a great help this far as far as decor goes. He’s very much into the music and food portion though. Our parents are both so excited that we’re getting married at all that they aren’t being fussy about the planning and just want us to do what makes us happy. (we’ll see how long that lasts :) )

Our first choice for our venue at this point is a warehouse/loft area downtown. It has exposed brick, huge windows, high ceilings and gorgeous wood floors. The place is basically a blank slate for whatever we want to do with it. We don’t want to go too crazy as we are working in a budget, but obviously we want things to be nice.

The thing is I’m having a really hard time picking one (or even two themes) to stick with. There are so many that I love and I don’t want our wedding to look like a jumbled mess. Basically I’m stuck between more sleek/elegant themes (art deco, late 1800′s victorian , 60′s glam…) and more low-key themes (indie, DIY, modern hipster/rocker…)

Things we do know: some sort of green incorporated (I’m leaning towards seafoam/mint right now), my engagement ring is very art deco (except with a black diamond, so its a bit alternative looking), we both have tattoos (mine will be visiable in a strapless dress, his will be if he rolls up his sleaves, but they’re “classy” as far as tattoo’s go, pieces of art rather than cartoonish) I want a shorter dress (and possibly a non-white dress) we are thinking of having pizza for our dinner (from a fancy local place where we had our first date, but this may limit the glam factor) the band that we want to play is a little depeche-modey (they can also do cover songs and we will have a dj for the beginning of the night)

Neither of us is very traditional and I’m not the prissy type who dreamed of a big wedding so its a little hard for us. (when I was little I actually wanted a short black wedding dress and I wanted to get married in a greenhouse with just close friends+family, lol) We basically just want a big party that everyone will have fun at. Our relatives are all pretty open minded and won’t mind whatever we do if its not too outrageous. (there’s only 2-3 who might mind, and we’re not even sure they would show or not due to distance and illness) So yeah, we want something that will fit our style, but also be a bit special/fancy, if that makes sense.. for reference he looks/dresses kind of like this guy:

and I look/dress kinda like this: (except without the glasses)

Any idea;s or advice on how to bring everything together and narrow it down? Or personal experiences ? Thanks :)
If you had a simple wedding that’s fine, but we are looking to have a personalized experience that fits who we are. We’re not church types, we’re not very traditional so we want something unique that will work for US. If you don’t have any suggestions or personal experiences to share then don’t bother answering.
And by theme I mean the decor, the color palate, the dress style etc etc. There’s so much more to a wedding than “good food, location” etc, we got that part down now we are working on the details.
Its not about everything being a reflection of us, but obviously who we are as people, our style etc will all factor into it. I’m having trouble narrowing it down because there are a lot of styles that I like as far as weddings go but I don’t want a jumbled mess if I try to combine every idea that I like. Because our venue is such a blank slate we have a lot of freedom as far as what we do, but it also means more work for us because we don’t have anything to go off of. (no chateau, no chandeliers just brick and wood and a view) Just looking for some advice. You’re lucky that you never had any trouble making up your mind on any aspect of the wedding, I am at an indecisive point, hence asking for any advice/personal experience…. *sigh*
Yeah, the only reason victorian was on that list is because another venue that we looked at looks like this:

and I couldn’t think of a better term to describe it. If we had gone with that one having a theme woudn’t be an issue but cost was a factor along with catering options.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

????????? ???? August 25, 2012 at 6:02 am

I fail to see how your clothes, tattoos, or engagement ring have anything to do with “theming” your wedding.

Weddings already have a theme – marriage. Just choose good food, a nice location, and make sure your guests have a good time.

Edit: I didn’t have a “simple” wedding. I was married in a chateau in France – we had live music, beautiful decor, fantastic food, fireworks, etc.

I just never conceptualized a wedding as a “my personality in a nutshell” kind of thing. I think that is a very strange understanding of identity – sorry, but your “personality” isn’t reflected in art deco aesthetics. Nor is it reflected in Depeche Mode. You are overthinking it and turning it into something it’s not. It’s just a wedding. Choose what you like, choose decor that fits your venue, choose your favourite colour. But it’s just not going to be a big “reflection of me!” festival.

It’s not going to “less personal” because you chose peach over mint green.


marachesa August 25, 2012 at 6:39 am

im having colors(shiny charcol,white and ivory. also the ballroom has chandilers so it will give a gold theme as well). but no theme.

i wouldn’t worry about it it will just create more stress for you.


Rosie August 25, 2012 at 7:21 am

I honestly didn’t read all of that. I skimmed mostly.

We had a Halloween wedding because that’s what we both wanted to do. Like you though, I had trouble putting it all together because I couldn’t decide what look I liked more. I liked modern. I liked shabby chic. I liked uber vintage like Victorian type dresses/decor. What I did was went to try on dresses. I know a lot of wedding professional type people say not to do it that way. They say to pick a theme, colors, venue yadda yadda then pick a dress. BUT finding THE dress really helped me put it all together. I didn’t like the lace covered shabby chic style dresses I thought I wanted.

From what I read alone about your plans. The loft, short dress, pizza..I don’t think Victorian would work with all that so you scratch that off. I think you two sound more like your “low key” ideas. Indie, DIY, modern hipster/rocker…Those can all still be sleek and elegant. Have you checked out Offbeat Bride? I highly recommend it.


Perse August 25, 2012 at 7:42 am

It was a non-issue because we didn’t want a theme. We didn’t want to throw the party of the year, or impress anyone, we just wanted to be married and to celebrate.


swbarnes2 August 25, 2012 at 8:09 am

If you have to ask strangers what theme to have, you shouldn’t have a “theme”. You are throwing a wedding reception, not an 8-year old’s birthday party. It’s okay for it to just look nice, without looking Victorian, or art deco, or anything like that.


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