Would you be upset of your MIL said this?

by DIY wedding planner on May 6, 2012


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We got married about 5 months ago. While we were having dinner with his parents recently, my MIL said…your wedding was beautiful but I think it wasn’t the best. I really liked my friend’s daughter’s wedding in Nantucket. of course it’s your wedding so it’s special and best for you. but i thought their wedding was better….I knew that we had a different style. She liked more DIY personalized decorations, and invite everybody she knows. We liked having a little smaller wedding but more luxurious. But isn’t it rude to say “your wedding wasn’t the best” to my face? My mom always tells me how beautiful the wedding was and that it was the best wedding she’s been to. Am I over reacting to do? I feel like she said something that she should’ve not said.

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Hound Lover May 6, 2012 at 5:31 am

People are so insensitive, they speak without thinking first. I’m sure she didn’t mean to purposefully hurt your feelings, she was just stating her thoughts.

Let it roll off your back…there are going to be more of these comments, trust me. Best to get in the habit of ignorning now, before she really drops a bomb.

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Lola May 6, 2012 at 6:16 am

My MIL is very blunt like that too…you need to just be blunt with her! Let her know you thought that was rude! Next time comment on something important to her…” You dinner was good but it definitely wasn’t the best.” Some people need to be shown how it feels. I do this to my MIL and it def. puts her in her place without having to show my @$$ ha ha

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Suz123 May 6, 2012 at 6:30 am

You write: I feel like she said something that she should’ve not said.

Your MIL is not loaded with tact, is she? Of course, what she said was hurtful.

But you know your wedding was/is right for you. You wanted something small and luxurious. Your wedding was perfect for you and your groom. MIL’s opinion does not matter in the least.

Just be aware in the future that she is not the most tactful person. And hopefully, your hubby is standing up for you when MIL is rude. He should be standing up for his wife.

As long as hubby stands up for you, your marriage will be okay.

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mrs May 6, 2012 at 7:18 am

sounds like she was just trying to get under your skin, b/c no matter how ignorant a person is, they would know that that was a rude thing to say. i would let it go, b/c this is exactly how the comment was supposed to be taken.

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CorpCityGrl May 6, 2012 at 7:33 am

Some people are so rude!

My MIL can be like that at times–she really doesn’t have any social skills and is not very good interacting with people. Next time, I suggest you be just as blunt as her. I say this because oftentimes people who are like that feel like they can continue with their behavior and thoughtlessness because noone ever says anything, so if you give as good as you get she’ll eventually learn and think before she opens her mouth.

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chefperry May 6, 2012 at 7:51 am

tell her that her outfit ruined your day yeeeooooooo

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cherry May 6, 2012 at 8:22 am

Your MIL is a senseless woman to say that. Maybe she intentionally wanted to hurt you.
In any case, you cant change her behaviour or her intentions towards you.
You know that you did a good job at arranging your wedding celebrations. Be contended with it. You dont need a fool’s approval for that. Just chill.

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DemelzaSun May 6, 2012 at 8:26 am

Sigh…out of the mouths of inlaws…typical. Just ignore her, you know how beautiful it was, and so does your mom. And I’m sure the rest of the guests enjoyed it too. There is always one sour grape in the bunch. Forget about it.

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dwstargzr May 6, 2012 at 9:09 am

I would have said something right then like: “It was the best we’ve ever been to”. Haha to her. Although, I am pretty outspoken about things. Really, that was very tactless of her to say and really didn’t need to be spoken. You’re not over-reacting by being upset, but don’t hang onto it. If she says something like that again, be prepared to say something in response. Make everyone laugh if you’re comfortable. She will feel silly for saying it and likely won’t bring it up again.

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Blunt May 6, 2012 at 9:42 am

How dare she! she was rude and not polite at all!

No, you are not over reacting. She’s an evil witch.

Good luck

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phantom_of_valkyrie May 6, 2012 at 9:53 am

Ok I guess I disagree with everyone. You seriously thought your wedding was the best in all the world? Come on.

I love my wedding. It was great for me. It was not the best wedding ever. There are very much things that would have been awesome to have. My mother and I always talk about weddings we’ve been to. I didn’t like that this wedding had balloons. It seemed childish. Her invitations are so casual–odd b/c I thought she was having a formal wedding. It was so dark in there several people tripped.

You’ve never discussed weddings when planning your own? I’m not sure I believe you.

Why be upset that she liked her friends daughters wedding. She qualified it with well yours was great and best for you and special–how much reassurance do you need? She merely personally liked the bigger wedding with personalized decorations.

I think you are definitely overreacting. If you guys are married for 20 years will she never be able to say anything other than “Your car is the best I’ve ever seen” “your wedding was the best I’ve ever seen” and “your house is the best I’ve ever seen”. It sounds like if you want your MIL’s opinion you’ll give it to her.

She’s allowed to have an opinion differing from yours. Could she have been a little more tactful? Of course. But she complimented your wedding like 5 times before making one comment on something she liked. You are seriously overreacting. If your mom tells you everything you do, say, buy is the best, you must be an only child.

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TAlex88 May 6, 2012 at 9:57 am

People have the right to their own opinion, but that was rude. She could have kept that to herself. Maybe she just wanted to see how you would react. idk Don’t let it get to you though.

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D4Pres2012 May 6, 2012 at 10:00 am

yeah that’s pretty rude of her to have said that. some people don’t know when to keep their mouth shut. at least you’re seeing her true colors now so you know what to expect the rest of your life.

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nova_queen_28 May 6, 2012 at 10:36 am

I wonder if you “offended” her in some way in the wedding planning process that she now feels the need to take pot-shots at you over the wedding?

Her comment was totally uncalled for and quite rude & insensitive.

If I were you, I’d let it slide because if you sling a low-blow right back at her then you are just going to escalate the issue into a full scale battle between you & her and that just isn’t worth cramming your husband into the middle of that sort of fight.

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Ms. X May 6, 2012 at 10:40 am

Your MIL’s comments were completely rude and out of line. Anyone who would make comments like that has a serious rudeness problem. But don’t give her the power to upset you. She’s the one with the problem, not you.

If she ever says something like that to you again, you could tell her you think [name] has the best MIL in the world, b/c she never makes inappropriate tacky comments.

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Kim H May 6, 2012 at 11:31 am

That’s very petty. Just ignore it and realize that you have a lot more class then she does.

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Heather May 6, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Your MIL was definitely rude for saying that. But I would just let it go…it’s been five months! Get over it! I’m sure she just spoke without thinking.

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